This story originated somewhere else — in similar form — on the Internet.
The other day, someone at the store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county. Posing a rhetorical question, he asked me, “Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?”
“Well,” I replied, “I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning and Sunday evening, and drug to church on Wednesday evenings for Bible study. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals and those ‘pot-lickin’ lunches and ice cream socials. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter what the weather was like.”
“I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, broght home a bad report card, or a failing grade in one of my classes. I was drug to the woodshed for talking disrespectfully to my ‘elders’ or when I said something bad about the preacher, or if I spoke ill of one of my teachers at school. And if I didn’t put forth 110% effort towards everything that was asked of me, I was drug to the dang woodshed again!”
“I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered profanity. I was drug out to pull weeds in the garden and flower beds, and chop weeds out of the cotton fields. I was drug out to chop cockleburrs out of my granddaddy’s fields, and if I whined about it, I was drug back to the damn woodshed!”
“I was drug to homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow their yard, repair their clothesline, paint their house, and if I had ever taken a dime as a tip for this ‘kindness’ my dad would have drug my ass back to the damn woodshed and beat my ass again.”
“Those drugs have affected my brain and my system all my life, and they’re still affecting everything I do, say or think. They’re stronger than cocaine, heroin, crack, or marijuana. If today’s kids had this kind of drug problem, America would be one hell of a better place and we wouldn’t have to hold the hands of so many wussified wimps and change the diapers of daughters with attitude problems.”
“If we had these kind of drug problems with our kids, we wouldn’t have to worry about the next generation getting on the welfare rolls and depending on the Nanny State. We wouldn’t be in fear of growing old with a bunch of entitlement minded snot-nosed shit-heads screwing around with our retirement and economy.”
“God bless America, and God bless the parents who ‘drugged’ us like they did.”
And, God help us if we don’t teach our kids how to turn this country back to where we had some self respect.