Another History Lesson

Posted: October 2, 2010 by thesundowner in Uncategorized

Just in case you Liberals didn’t “get it” the first
time around…

For those that don’t know about history … Here is a
condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of
nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the
mountains during the summer and would go to the coast
and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were
the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.
The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These
were the foundation of modern civilization and together
were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into
two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals, and

2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that
was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass
bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our
early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s
to show how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals
to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This
was the beginning of hat is known as the Conservative
movement…

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting
learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for
the nightly B-B-Q’s and doing the sewing, knitting,
fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of
the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into
women…

The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy
liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy, group hugs, “cluster
f**ks” and the concept of Democratic voting to decide
how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives
provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by
the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the
elephant. Liberals are symbolized — ostensibly — by
the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added),
but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water.
They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi,
tofu, and French food are standard Liberal fare…

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of
their women have higher testosterone levels than their
men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys,
journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists
are Liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter
rule because it wasn’t fair to make the pitcher also
bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat
red meat — sometimes raw — and still provide for
their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo
cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen,
medical
doctors, engineers, police officers, corporate
executives, athletes, members of the military, airline
pilots and generally anyone who works productively.
Conservatives who own companies hire other
conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern
the producers and decide what to do with the
production. Liberals believe Europeans and half-breed
Kenyans are more enlightened than Americans. That is
why most of the
Liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were
coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West
was tamed and created a business of trying to get more
for nothing.

Here ends today’s lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary
urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding
it. A Conservative will simply laugh at their dumb ass
and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this
history that it will be forwarded immediately to other
true believers and to more liberals just to piss them
off.

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your
true self.

WE LIVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE
BRAVE

I’ll keep my money, my freedom and my guns! YOU can
keep “The Hope and Change.”

VOTE NEXT ELECTION!!

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